Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm passing your future prison.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
