what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
