I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
