omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
