I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
