Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize
