And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
