i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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