you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Randomize
