True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
