Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Four minutes until I can fart!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
