Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
