Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
