girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
