i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
