I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
