Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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