He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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