you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
