Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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