How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
