Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
