he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
