Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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