You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
