they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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