Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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