im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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