you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
