But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
