Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
