I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
