It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
