I just saw a hot homeless man
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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