i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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