the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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