i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
