I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
