so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
