you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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