I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Will exercising make me less horny?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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