Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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