remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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