"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
