just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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