Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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