He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
