I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize