Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I checked into jail on foursquare
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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