Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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